Shreveport Personal Trainer – The Steak, The Chicken & The . . . Attempted Murder?!

Posted on 18. Jun, 2012 by in Blog

So, I go to unthaw my bag o' steak this morning, and as I blearily reach into the freezer, eyes still mostly locked shut with the Sandman's coma-dust, my hand closes on . . . nothing.

Confused , and more than a little agitated that I can't grab stuff in a cold dark box with my eyes closed, I look around to see where I moved the stack o' steak.  Is it under the veggie bags?  Nope, and WOW, didn't need that on my forearm.  That is really cold.  Is it . . . wait, that's everything.  Where's the beef?


I happen to find the delicious meat in the fridge and, knowing it's three days past the freeze-or-use-by-date, I slowly open the package.  And let me tell you, that was not what I wanted to be doing at 3:45 in the AM.  That was not fun.

So, this afternoon on my four-hour lunch (I know, I'm a workaholic) [which was originally a two-hour lunch, but had a few peeps what needed to move their sessions about, don't ya know], I had the choice of A) Go to Wal-Mart or B), hit up my girl Wendy to see what she was talking about, RE the Chicken Wraps.

Not wanting to be in line longer than a Tough Mudder course, I opted for B.

And that's where the attempted murder comes in.

But, before I go on, check out the nutrition facts of this baby.  Pull off the cheese and the sauce, it's 670 calories w/ 29 grams of protein, 70 of carbs, and 31 grams of fat.  With the sauce, no cheese, they're 790 calories, but whatevs.

Being the hungry and active man that I am, I grabbed four.

Here's what's left:

Pretty sure there's sauce lightly glazed on what's left of the wrap


I ate most of one, it's buddy is wrapped beside it, and here's the other two . . .

Fresh?  So was the Prince of Bel-Air.

Not coming out of that bag.

Now, being that I am hungry and, at the moment, was pressed for time, why did I eat so little?  Lessee . . .

1.  After second bite, had a headache like I'd been standing in a Wal-Mart parking lot just inhaling the heck out of exhaust fumes.

2.  After the first little "chicken patty" was finished, had a sudden bit of acid reflux/heartburn/nausea hit.

3.  By the time I'd finished the roll to what you see above, I was coughing like I'd inhaled Arkansas pine pollen.

So, I popped a Benadryl, six fish oil capsules and a protein shake.  Not something you'd typically do after eating a healthy, nutritious meal.

If I'm being honest, and with you, I feel I need to be, I feel similarly after ANY fast food – Quizno's, Subway, et al.  It's all a bunch of food-like substance that you genuinely have to build a tolerance for.  Even if the food was sourced well, cooked great, and everything, it's still packed and processed with so much useless junk that you just can't justify eating it.

Even if you spoil 3lbs of steak and have no time to get a proper meal cooked.

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